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Ancient Transgender Culture Mysteriously Disappeared After One Generation

Archeologists have excavated the remains of a highly advanced and literate transgender culture that prospered around 5700 BC in the Mesopotamian delta. Everyone born into this ancient culture, who archeologists have named, the “Dylanites,” in honor of trans-activist Dylan Mulvaney, was encouraged to transition away from their birth gender.

Dylanites’ Archeological Site

Consequently, all new babies were automatically regarded as the opposite of their birth sex and dressed accordingly. Toddlers played games like, “Pin the Phallus on the Tran-boy,” and “Musical Gender Chairs,” where children who mistakenly sit in a chair marked with their biological sex received smaller genital prosthetics’ toys.

Virtually all Dylanites underwent sex change operations at puberty. Doctors performing the surgeries were greatly esteemed, and earned well over six figures in American dollars today. These doctors often affixed signs akin to “vanity license plates” on their ox-drawn chariots describing their surgical prowess, such as (roughly translated) “boob chopper.”

These astonishing discoveries have boosted the case being made by transgender activists for the full acceptance and inclusion of transgender people in society today. Further, trans-leaders say they will organize a mass suicide event for all trans-identifying teenagers if this does not occur by June 1 of this year.

So far, however, scientists have not been able to solve one stubborn mystery about the Dylanites: They disappeared after one generation. Scientists postulate different theories for this inexplicable disappearance, including rampaging dinosaurs, the spread of a fatal virus, or their slaughter at the hands of primitive theocrats, much like the MAGA movement in America today.

SpoofsandProofs.com is written and produced by David Culver Brenner. For a free subscription to SpoofsandProofs.com, enter your email in the “Subscribe” box on the right sidebar. To learn more about his novella exposing the dangers of socialism, go here.

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