Biden Seeks Agreement with China Similar to Deal with Iran on Timing and Location of Missile Attacks
Washington, D.C. – Fresh off the successful downing of Iranian missiles and drones targeting Israel, Joe Biden says he will seek a similar agreement with China on when, from where, and how many nuclear missiles they’ll be shooting at the U.S. in the near future.
“Man, that was like shooting fish in a barrel,” exclaimed Biden, bragging about how easily the U.S. Navy was able to shoot down Iranian missiles headed toward Israel on Saturday. Biden recalled growing up in Scranton when his dad brought home fish he’d caught, let Joe fill an old barrel with them, and then let him “blast ‘em to kingdom come,” with his dad’s shotgun. “Man, that was fun,” Biden noted. “We’d strain out the lead and have us some yummy fish chowder for dinner. It was a real Scranton tradition,” he reminisced.
Biden also informed the press he hopes to enter into similar arrangements with Russia, and North Korea. “Heck, if we got the Iranians to tell us when they’re attacking and from where and with what weapons, we should be able to get the Chinese, Russians, and North Koreans to tell us, too. Just think if we’d had that agreement with the Nazis – it would have saved millions of lives. There’s no reason we can’t do it now.”
Biden continued, “Folks, this brilliant new policy that I just came up with will make the world a whole lot safer. Heck, somebody ought to alert the Nobel Peace Prize Committee about it,” the President suggested.
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