DNC Chair Says No Double Standard: “If Joe Biden Can’t Win Election, Tara Reade Sexual Assault Charges Will Disqualify Him”
The New York Times has called on the Democratic National Committee (“DNC”), notably less partisan than the Times, to investigate claims by former Biden Senate staffer Tara Reade that Biden sexually assaulted her. Democratic leaders and left-leaning news agencies have rejected Reade’s allegations, causing Republicans to accuse Democrats of a double standard, given Democrats’ near universal acceptance of Christine Blasey Ford’s allegation of sexual wrongdoing against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh during his Senate confirmation hearings. Along with Fox News, these Republicans say Reade’s claims against Biden are more substantive than Ford’s, and should be treated at least as seriously.
ProofsandSpoofs.com, one of America’s most discerning, fearless, credible, and least known investigative blogs, quickly reached out to Tom Perez, President of the DNC, to ask him if he’d pursue an investigation as requested by the Times. Here is the unedited transcript of our interview with Mr. Perez:
ProofsandSpoofs.com: Mr. Perez, thanks for consenting to this interview. Do you plan to investigate Tara Reade’s allegations against Vice-President Biden?
Perez: No, there’s nothing to investigate. Joe Biden didn’t do anything wrong, by his own admission.
Proofs and Spoofs.com: Well, what about Joe’s statement during the Kavanaugh hearings that victims of sexual assault should be believed?
Perez: A presumption of innocence doesn’t apply to people who deny women’s fundamental rights. Biden has been an ardent supporter of women’s rights, as has President Clinton.
ProofandSpoofs.com: But that’s a double standard – you can’t treat Biden differently than you treated Kavanaugh just because he’s a Democrat!
Perez: No, it’s not – if we determine that Biden can’t beat Trump, we’ll believe Tara Reade’s claims and bump him off the ticket. 
ProofsandSpoofs.com: In other words, it’s not a double standard, it’s a triple standard?
Perez: Yes, which clearly is better than a double standard, unless you’re mathematically challenged.
ProofsandSpoofs.com: What if a bi-sexual Hispanic Republican man running for President was charged with sexual assault?
Perez: Naturally, we’d believe the charges, just as we believed Anita Hill’s charges against Clarence Thomas.
ProofsandSpoofs.com: So, now you’re up to a quadruple standard. But what if a Democratic African-American woman nominated for President who is polling well is accused of sexual harassment?
Perez: Given her status as a woman, our commitment to racial diversity, and her Constitutional right to a presumption of innocence, we most definitely would not investigate such laughable claims.
ProofsandSpoofs.com: But what if there were credible witnesses, and the victim is a white transgender woman, but the African American candidate still had a real chance of winning the election?
Perez: That’s a tough one, but since the transgender victim is biologically a white male, we would consider the claim baseless and refuse to investigate.
Proofs and Spoofs.com: I see, so you have quintuple standard. Okay, what if a Democratic nominee was a gay Asian-American man who had been videotaped raping a white man who is a Republican gun owner and drives a pick-up truck with an American flag on it?
Perez: Could he beat the Republican nominee?
ProofsandSpoofs.com: Not a chance.
Perez: Well, we’d clearly need to investigate and find out if the videotape was legit, which undoubtedly it is. We believe even conservative truck-driving gun-toting yahoos have rights, too. Stop trying to put us in a box.
ProofsandSpoofs.com: Okay, so actually you have a sextuple standard.
Perez: Which, if my math is correct, is fully three times better than a double standard. But your effort to pin us down to such a limited number of standards is revolting. You Republican types are incapable of complexity and nuance. You dummies probably can’t even count up to our number of standards. This interview is over!
ProofsandSpoofs.com: Well, we appreciate your time, Mr. Perez.