Prince of Darkness Endorses Democrats, Gives Biden Two Big “Horns Up”
Hell (A.P.) — Satan today released a statement endorsing the entire field of Democratic candidates, and praising President Joe Biden as, “the son I’ve always wanted.” 
The Darkest Prince added, “Joe Biden has been doing my bidding in Washington, D.C. for over 40 years; and rarely have I had such a dedicated servant. His efforts to destroy the disgusting vermin growing inside women, to breed hatred and violence between the races, and of course, to completely undermine the Enemy’s suffocating limitation of ‘male and female’ have all been stellar. Virtually every thought and action of the big dunce, while admittedly feeble and hair-brained, perfectly reflect the values of Hell.”
The Father of Lies also gushed about Biden’s ability to emulate his mendacity: “The economy’s great; Trump voters are the biggest threat to democracy; inflation has ended; Putin’s to blame for all my failures; abortion is a fundamental constitutional right; etc., etc. – are all straight from my playbook. I couldn’t have come up with such outrageous whoppers myself,” he exclaimed.
When pressed on what else Biden might do in service to the cause of evil, Lucifer equivocated.
“Well, he’s only got a few more years of usefulness to me, after which I’ll drop him like a hot potato, in the parlance of your revolting species, but you’d be surprised how much venal mayhem a dim, flickering bulb like Joe can generate with my help,” the Devil fiendishly boasted.
SpoofsandProofs.com is written and produced by David Culver Brenner. To learn more about his recent novella exposing the dangers of socialism, visit UnsocialistChickens.com. For a free subscription to SpoofsandProofs.com, enter your email in the “Subscribe” box on the right sidebar.