Kamala Harris Says She is Victim of “Holden Caulfield Syndrome”
By David Culver Brenner
With only a 28 percent public approval rating, Kamala Harris is unpopular with both Republicans and Democrats. While sexism and racism surely account for her unpopularity with conservative Americans, how does she account for her low ratings among Democrats? 
In a recent interview, Harris says she is also a victim of “Holden Caufield Syndrome,” or “HCS,” which is a bias in favor of children and against adults that afflicts conservatives and liberals. Holden Caulfield is the adult-phobic juvenile character in J.D. Salinger’s classic, The Catcher in the Rye. “Holden believes adults are phonies, which clearly doesn’t apply to me,” Harris confirms. “I’m the most authentic person I know, next to Barack,” she adds.
Her low polls sparked an epiphany as to why she turns even liberals off, she says. “I was cute as a button and super popular when I was six years old. But now everyone seems to hate me. How is that possible apart from some kind of invidious discrimination?” she wonders.
Kamala often reminisces about her glory days as a little tyke. She famously attacked Joe Biden in a primary debate for opposing school busing while she was a little girl heroically waiting for the bus to take her to an integrated school in the 1970’s. 
She also repeats an oft-told story of how, as a child, she responded, “fweedom,” when Harris’ mother asked her what she wanted during a civil rights protest. She fondly recounts: “How cute is that? And, everyone loved me for it — because I was a scrumptious little girl. But, guess what? I’m still saying that, and all I get are crickets!”
But Harris, a relentless fighter for the oppressed, is not deterred. She vows that, as Vice-President, she will carry the torch to end ugly discrimination favoring children, particularly laws that make abortion harder to get.
David Culver Brenner writes and produces, ProofsandSpoofs.com. His first book, The Un-Socialist Chickens, was published last year.